MILLENNIALS AND DATING

I am having a bit of trouble understanding this whole dating thing in the new millennium. In time gone by, “courting” was the word used to signify two people going out, socializing, having conversations and things along that line in order get to know each other. In my grandparents and parents time and even in my time that was the order of the day. We would court in the hopes of one day getting married and starting a family.

“Courting” became “Dating.”

Dating was along the same lines but a bit less focused on marriage. It was more of a, “Lets see where this leads.” or, “It may or may not work out but at least let’s have some fun along the way.”

“Dating” has now become “Lets hook up.”

In the new millennium it’s all about the hook ups. Which I really didn’t quiet understand the meaning of “hooking up.” So I decided to do some research by asking the Millennials or Generation Y as they are called, which lead to some interesting findings.

According to my findings, “Hooking up” can mean a number of things. It can be two or more people getting together just to hangout at the mall or park to chill. It can mean going to the movies or to each other’s home. But the one that caught me off guard was the fact that it can also mean getting together to have sex just for the fun of it. That was not what I was expecting theses young people to say to me. But apparently that was the truth of the matter. To a person like me, a seventies baby, that seemed really dangerous and risky. I could not believe this was the new form of courting and dating. This is what it had come to, hooking up.

How did we get here? How did our children come to believe that this was ok? How do we change this new mindset of our young people? And can we change it?

Dating used to be a wonderful experience where two people spent quality time getting to know each other. They would go out to dinner, or a movie, or a picnic. Somewhere between then and now it has evolved into “hooking up” to have sex.

In a study done with 274 students participating, by a doctorial student of the University of Nebraska, Amanda Holman and a Dr. Alan Sillars of the University of Montana, it was found that 94% of the student knew about the term, 54% believed it involved sexual acts and 37% participated in 2 or more hookups during the school year. At the end of the study, “Hooking Up”was defined as: “ Entailing certain sexual acts between two people who are not dating or in a serious relationship and does not expect anything further.”

Some believe that the term may be a good thing in that it denotes a certain vagueness which provides a level of privacy for the parties involve, as it can mean a number of different things. Others say it just normalizes risky behavior, which can lead to dangerous consequences. Either way it will take some getting used to for not just me but for a lot of parents as well.

Let me what your thoughts are on this topic.

Until we meet again in the cyber world…….

See Ya!!

 

Su~Jo~Ly

AFFIRMATION… TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT

Affirmation- a statement that is said in confidence about a perceived truth.

Affirmations can be used to change your life from a life of fear and lack, to a life of courage and abundance if used the correct way.

As children our parents, siblings, teachers or friends tell us things about ourselves that can have either a negative or positive affect on how we view ourselves. Sometimes the things that are said to us remains in our subconscious without us even realizing that they are there. But they can be resurrected by just the mention of a particular word, song, person or thing. Then that feeling we had as a child is brought back to life, weather be a positive or negative feeling.

A lot of times we tend to believe the things people tells us about ourselves, especially the negative and that can be the cause of most of our fear causing us to hold back on doing certain things in life. You see the mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is fantasy. Hence anything we think can become a reality.

Let’s use the F word. FEAR. Fear comes from the belief that something bad will happen if you do this or if you that. I am gravely afraid of cats. Yes cats. Don’t ask me why because I am not even sure why but I am just afraid of them. Now even though I have seen how cute and loving they can be, I still have a fear for them. I will jump in front of a moving train to get away from one. Well, maybe not, but that’s my though anyway. I am now working on getting rid of that fear through the process of affirmation and manifestation. (I talked about manifestation in my last blog.)

These are the steps I plan to take to rid myself of the fear of cats.

• List my negative thoughts about cats and what I think will happen if I get close to them.
• List positive things I know about them and how sweet they can be.
• I will say the positive out loud for a few minutes each day.
• Inhale the good, courageous feeling and exhale the fear out.
• Get someone, a family or friend to talk about cats in a positive way so I can hear it from someone else and get a good feeling about them.

You can try theses same five steps in affirming new thought about yourself.

• Step 1
• List some negative things you were told about yourself that you now believe are true.
• Step2
• List the positive things you were told about yourself that you now believe are true, and rewrite the negative things replacing the negative words with positive ones. For instance if you wrote I am unworthy, replace it with I am worthy.
• Step 3
• Speak the positive things out loud a few minutes everyday, and do this in front of a mirror if possible.
• Step 4
• Inhale the positive words and get that good feeling down to your gut. Then exhale the fear and negativity out of you body.
• Step 5
• Hear it form someone else. Get a family or friend to repeat the positive to you so you can hear it form an outside source.
• Bonus step
• Meditate daily on the positive so you can create the feeling of gratitude for the good.

We have to make a conscious effort to reprogram our minds from a thought of negativity, fear and lack, to a thought of positivity, courage and abundance. It’s a process that if we commit to it can make tremendous changes in how we view ourselves and how we live our lives.

So how about it? Will your try the affirmation process with me?

I will keep you updated on my process to rid myself from the fear of those lovely creatures called cats, and you keep me posted on your process of affirming good thing into your life.

 

So lovelies, until next post……

See Ya!!!!!

Su~Jo~Ly

MANIFESTING THE LIFE YOU WANT….

I was a bit skeptical when I first heard about manifestation. I was like ok here we go again, another new fad to trick us into believing in gurus and motivational speakers.

I take all of that back.

After a bit of research, I learned that manifestation has been around for quite sometime and is very beneficial if used correctly. So I decided to try it and boy was I pleasantly surprise. Pleasantly I say. I saw a shift in my life. One like I’ve never seen before. The last time a shift took place in my life was when I started making the practice of gratitude a daily part of my life. But this shift was a bit different.

The first thing I did, according to the experts, was to write down what I wanted to manifest in my life. Then, I was to focus on this daily and manifest a feeling of having what I want already in my life. So I went about doing just that. I wrote out two things I wanted to happen. I figured I would start off small to test this new thing out. Then I would put energy into feeling like these things were already in my life. So I would act as if I already had them and along came the feelings of having them in my life.That’s when I saw great results.

Now even though I was not as focused as I should have been, the two things I wrote down did happen and exactly in the order I wrote it down. Mind blowing. WHAT???? 😮 👀 No way!!! But it was yes way!!!👍🏾 And as time went on I kept practicing it and it began to get easier and easier and before you knew it manifestation, just like gratitude became my daily routine. I cannot go a day without them. Its like breathing .

There I was experiencing this and still a bit skeptical. That skepticism only lasted a very short time because after that I was a believer. Hence now I am able blog about it. I am now a firm believer in manifestation and would recommend it to any and everyone. It works. No more life of “lack” for me. My life is full of abundance. Abundance in all aspects of my life and it is all due to two things I practice daily. GRATITUDE AND MANIFESTATION. 

I know it sound a bit unbelievable, and I am not saying it will happen overnight, but I can tell you if you stick with it and really focus and do the work you will see results that will blow your mind. I have a Gratitude Journal and a Manifestation/Affirmation one as well. If you’re wondering about the word affirmation I just used, I’ll get into that a bit more in my next blog. That’s another practice I have added to my life that has also been beneficial in my life of abundance. Look out for that blog coming soon.

In the mean time if you decide to try out manifestation let me know your results in the comment section below. I would love to know your take on it and see if you had great results like I did. (And I’m stilling having great results.) So till next time lovelies…..

See yah 👋🏽

Su~Jo~Ly

LESSONS LEARNED…….

Everyone we come in contact with, every experience we have, every place we go, all have a reasons or purposes for showing up in our lives. You either learn a lesson or teach a lesson. Any which way a lesson is learnt by someone.

It took me a while to understand that and to practice that outlook on my experiences in life. But now I know. Now I understand. I see disappointments as lessons . Breakups, heartache, happy times, new beginnings, can all teach us a lot if we look for the good in all experiences. As I always say, “Focus on the good and let the bad see for itself.” See the good in people who treat you bad and realize they have inner issues of their own.  See disappointments as life telling you to try something different, maybe its time to move on to something bigger and better. Could be you have outgrown where you are or who you’re with in life and its time for the next chapter in your life, on to better things. Look for the positive and run with it.

Give thanks to the Universe, God, Buddha, Allah the powers that be, or whatever you call you Creator, for the opportunities ahead. Give thanks for the past, the present, the future. Accept that no matter how bad it may seem at this point, ” This too shall pass.” If you need time to sulk or cry do so, but don’t stay in that mode. Pick yourself up, keep a positive outlook and see the bright future ahead of you. When you are down there is only one place to go and that is up. Get back up and keep rising. Know that you are a Divine creation of the Divine One and see the God in you. You were made to succeed in life. You were made to have abundance in your life. Abundance of great things, great experiences and great love. You are wonderful made and wonderfully made in loved. So believe it, feel it, act it and shine.

Learn the lessons from your life journey. Embrace what you learn. Share what you learn with others. Keep rising. Keep shining. Live every moment. Laugh everyday. Love beyond word and keep striving to be the best you can be in all aspects of your life journey. Life is what you make it so make it great.

 

 

And It Is So……………

Su~Jo~Ly

BE YOUR “MATE”

Be your “mate” simply means, be the person you want to be with. 

I find that a lot of women, and men, have list of qualities/qualifications they want in a mate. List containing any where from 1 to 100 things they want in their significant other. Now, there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want in your mate and being up front and honest about that fact. But what I have noticed is a lot of times we make these list about what we want in that person without even thinking about what we have to offer or bring to the table.

I have learnt over the years that most times we attract people in our lives that have some of the things we have on the list and a lot of things we don’t have listed. Why is that? It’s because we attract who we are at our core.

That tells me that in order to attract the person I want to be with, I have to first become that person. If I want someone who “have their shit together,” I should  “have my shit together” as well.  If I am looking for a caring supportive mate, I have to be a caring and supportive mate likewise. Try making a list of your qualities/qualifications for being a mate. How many of those qualities/qualification you have on your list for a mate, do you actually possess ? All or some?

Law of attraction says we attract who we are and what we believe. Positivity draws positivity. Negativity draws negativity. Be mindful of your thoughts and the energy you put out, because you will attract those same thoughts and energy right back to you in one form or another.

Be the person you want to be with…….Be your mate.

And It Is So ………….

Su~Jo~Ly

DIFFERNCES MAKE THE WORLD BEAUTIFUL.

As a child I would hear the grown folks say, ” Two things you never argue about are religion and politics.” I didn’t quite understand why they said that but now that I’m an adult I finally understand.

It’s sort of mind perplexing to me that people feel the need to impose their views on others.  To hate others just because they are different or have different views.” To each it’s own” I say. What works for you, works for you and that’s a great thing. But do not try to impose your views on me. Let us agree to disagree and move on.

We can all exist in this world in harmony even if we have different views. Your truth is not my truth and my truth is not your truth. Let us embrace differences, learn from each other’s experiences. Realize that even though our views are different that doesn’t meant they are wrong. They may be wrong for one person but just right for another. My friend can walk in 6 inch  stilettos all day and I could not last fifteen minutes.

Differences are what make this world a beautiful place . Different cultures, beliefs, languages and ethnicity. So much to experience. So much to learn. So much to embrace. The world would be so much more peaceful if we learn to accept the differences in each other and agree to disagree. There is no need to be angry about someone else views or beliefs. No need to fight to be right. No need for hatred. We can and should just let folks live their truth and you live yours.

Life is beautiful when we let go go our hang ups and just live. Live in love.

 

 

And It Is So………..

Su~Jo~Ly

New Ventures

I’m back!!!!!!

It has been a while since I posted anything on this form. A lot has transpired since my last post.

I got laid off from my job . My seven year relationship came to an end. Hurricane Irma devastated the lives of millions including me and I started having panic attacks.

With all that going on I didn’t have the time or passion to write anymore. But that too has passed and I’m back on track. I have dusted of my depression and I am ready to start a new journey in life.

Panic attacks are no more, my ex and I are good friends, the aftermath from Irma is clearing up and I have a new business venture, So life is great now and I am living in gratitude, love and happiness.

I was told a long time ago by my mom that every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. I look at events in my life, good or bad, as lessons to be learnt and I look for the positive in all experiences.  Focus on the good and let the rest work itself out.

I am excited about this new chapter in my life. I am looking forward to seeing all the good life has in store for me. I am grateful for all experiences, the good , the bad, the indifferent, but I will focus on the good so more good vibrations will flow into my life.

My friend had this “Pray for Positivity “on her wall and I fell in love with the words. Hope you find it inspiring as well.

 

And It Is So………….

SU~JO~LY

 

 

 

INTUITION, YOUR VOICE WITHIN.

Life has a way of making moves for you without your permission.

Why do we overthink things? Why do we postpone the inevitable?

Women have this thing called intuition that we so often ignore because we doubt ourselves. We doubt that we’re good enough. We doubt that what we feel is our truth. We wait for validation from others who no matter how much they love us will never really feel or understand what we are feeling. They may have and idea, but each of us experience situations differently, we feel things different no matter how similar it may be there is a difference.

I say all that to say this, when a woman is in a relationship and she knows that it is not going anywhere, its not going to get better, she deserves better and so on and so on, she tends to rationalize staying by thinking her gut instinct, that intuition we’ve been blessed with must be somehow wrong. Well ladies , guess what? The more we ignore our God given intuition the more we put ourselves in situations that makes us unhappy and miserable.

Society has taught us to let our hearts lead the way. Then our brains and then maybe we can let Mr. Intuition have a small window to vent its opinion. I say put intuition first then brain then heart and I say this not from reading books and watching romantic movies but from life experiences.

Now intuition is not just handy in love relationships but in all relationships, from personal, business, friendships ,financial or even something like buying a house or a pair of shoes. That gut feeling we all have experience at one point or another. That sense that something is not right or is right. The feeling of stomach knots or chills, you know what I am talking about because you have theses feelings from time to time. But ignore them.

I know I have ignored my intuition a few times and paid dearly for it. I know better now. What I do now is when I get the feeling I get still, I allow the feeling to flow through me and I can tell if its a yay or a nay feeling and I go with what feels right. Boy has that saved me a lot of headache and heartache.

I love my intuition. It had never failed me…….. if I truly tune into it that is.

Let me know if you have any thoughts on this. Are you tuned into your intuition?

 

AND IT IS SO…………..

SU~JO~LY

CONTINUE TO……………LIVE!!!!!!

The only constant in life is change.

When life seems to be in an uproar and things are not going the way you would like it to be, CONTINUE……..

Continue to live, to persevere, keep moving. It will not always be that tough. Life contains cycles of good, bad and indifferent circumstances and events. That is just how life goes.

You will never know how great things would turn out if you give up when things get tough. I have heard of tons of life stories from different individuals about how great their lives turned out because they never gave up, but continued to persevere through the tough times. If they gave up at the point of pressure they would never been living the prosperous life they live now.

CONTINUE…….. look beyond whatever the uncomfortable situation you’re experiencing and continue to work toward the goal you set for yourself.  Use the uncomfortable feeling as fuel to continue to achieve great things in your life. Surround yourself with people and things that motivate and inspire you. Continue to see the bigger picture. Continue to keep working on getting better. Continue to live the best life you can live. Take it one day at a time but continue to pursue your dreams.

CONTINUE…….DON’T GIVE UP………CONTINUE TO BREATH!!!!!

 

AND IT IS SO……….

SO~JO~LY