I am having a bit of trouble understanding this whole dating thing in the new millennium. In time gone by, “courting” was the word used to signify two people going out, socializing, having conversations and things along that line in order get to know each other. In my grandparents and parents time and even in my time that was the order of the day. We would court in the hopes of one day getting married and starting a family.
“Courting” became “Dating.”
Dating was along the same lines but a bit less focused on marriage. It was more of a, “Lets see where this leads.” or, “It may or may not work out but at least let’s have some fun along the way.”
“Dating” has now become “Lets hook up.”
In the new millennium it’s all about the hook ups. Which I really didn’t quiet understand the meaning of “hooking up.” So I decided to do some research by asking the Millennials or Generation Y as they are called, which lead to some interesting findings.
According to my findings, “Hooking up” can mean a number of things. It can be two or more people getting together just to hangout at the mall or park to chill. It can mean going to the movies or to each other’s home. But the one that caught me off guard was the fact that it can also mean getting together to have sex just for the fun of it. That was not what I was expecting theses young people to say to me. But apparently that was the truth of the matter. To a person like me, a seventies baby, that seemed really dangerous and risky. I could not believe this was the new form of courting and dating. This is what it had come to, hooking up.
How did we get here? How did our children come to believe that this was ok? How do we change this new mindset of our young people? And can we change it?
Dating used to be a wonderful experience where two people spent quality time getting to know each other. They would go out to dinner, or a movie, or a picnic. Somewhere between then and now it has evolved into “hooking up” to have sex.
In a study done with 274 students participating, by a doctorial student of the University of Nebraska, Amanda Holman and a Dr. Alan Sillars of the University of Montana, it was found that 94% of the student knew about the term, 54% believed it involved sexual acts and 37% participated in 2 or more hookups during the school year. At the end of the study, “Hooking Up”was defined as: “ Entailing certain sexual acts between two people who are not dating or in a serious relationship and does not expect anything further.”
Some believe that the term may be a good thing in that it denotes a certain vagueness which provides a level of privacy for the parties involve, as it can mean a number of different things. Others say it just normalizes risky behavior, which can lead to dangerous consequences. Either way it will take some getting used to for not just me but for a lot of parents as well.
Let me what your thoughts are on this topic.
Until we meet again in the cyber world…….